Trapped…

I feel like I have so much to say. I have so much on my mind. I am not sure what I want to say, not sure what thoughts are controlling my mind now. I just feel overloaded. I feel full of something that I cannot see or understand.
I feel like I want to let it all out. Rid my self of this fullness ,this weight I feel.

It is not a bad weight. I am not sure if it is good either. I just have so many thoughts and they are all so different. My mind wants to be running in a million different directions.. and because of my inability to let it run.. I feel trapped. Trapped by myself, within myself.

Ahh.. I have no clue what I am talking about.

Have you ever felt something that you understand so well, but you just cannot articulate? Something so personal, that you will never be able to convey it with the proper magnitude… something that just makes all words feel so weak. Something that only you understand inside your head. Something that when exposed feels so cheap… That is what I am feeling now.

Feeling things that only I make sense of in the safety of my mind.

The funny thing is that they are not feelings about anything in particular. It is more like a mood.. a complete feeling, but not about a topic. A feeling that is just there. I am not sure why this feeling came, or what triggered it.. but it is there and it consumes me. It controls my day. A feeling that tells me what I will do and whether I will be happy about doing it.

Maybe this is due to a feeling of being overwhelmed. A feeling that too much is happening in my life now. Too many people are involved. Too many feelings are being felt, and maybe not enough are being expressed.

As confusing as this is.. I feel a release. The release of letting things out. Putting them in front of me. In actual words that I can not run from. Feelings that are becoming something tangible. I have so much that I need to do. So much that I need to say to so many people.

My Dilemma....

What is failure?
If you had to define failure what would you say?

Would it be to not try something you want because you are scared?
Would you say to try something and not get it right?
Would it mean to give up?

Failure has been on my mind a lot.

Work has become horrible. Yesterday I could not take it anymore... and I quit. I could not handle anything. It was a horrible feeling. I felt like everything was wrong and there was nothing I could do. I wanted to do so much, but I felt like my hands were tied. I wanted to say so much, but I was mute.
It hurt.. and it scared me.
I was scared that I wanted to run away. I was scared that I did not know if running away was failing or if it was preserving my self-respect.
I did not know if it was the right thing to do....

Everybody at work was trying to talk me into staying. They were saying all the things that I probably wanted to hear at some point earlier in the year.
I left work and thought about it. Thought about everything. I vented...

I love teaching.. and I enjoy it so much. I love my students.. but for the first time that was not enough. I feel helpless and that scares me. I feel like I cannot give everything that I want to. I feel like I am not giving enough. I feel like I am not able to impact them as much as I want to. I feel like I cannot protect the children that I love, the children that need me to protect them.
So, when being there hurts me so much for so many reasons.. should I go? Is that selfish? Should I stay, even though it hurts?

If I leave because it is not what I bargained for, is that failing.
Am I running away because I am scared?

Should I stay?
Should I go?

This is my dilemma......

Oh, how the tables have turned !!!

I remember growing up and listening to stories about my mom when she was younger. I remember stories of what life used to be like. I remember not being able to believe that people actually lived like that.
"I used to walk 2 miles in the snow uphill...."
I was shocked that she was not allowed to used the phone for hours to sit and do her homework with her friends. I could not believe that she had to be home when the street lights went on. What do you mean there was no call waiting?!?!
Things were so different back then.
I realized that things are different from when I was growing up too....

I was talking with my class about inventions and how inventions develop.
My class started laughing when I told them that I first started using a computer in elementary school. The very big computers that were slow.
My students did not understand why I did not have a cell phone until I was 16... and I was the first out of all my friends.
They did not understand why I was not allowed to go out on school nights....
The class did not believe that there was only the original Nintendo for a while...
They thought using an encyclopedia to do a research project was a crazy idea!

They think they would not be able to live without their ipods, PSPs, and cellular phones... they think I am a hero because I was able to survive a life without them...

Hehehehehehehhe, My life is one of those stories that I did not believe when I was younger!!

I think in a while I will be remembering the "good 'ol days" when life was simple and people were honest!

Why do the Americans still have friends?

Real American Heroes...

This is the title of the chapter that I started teaching to my class today in Social Studies. The chapter is telling the story of different people who have had a positive impact on American society.
The chapter was full of stories about people who fought against unfair treatment in America.
1. Rosa Parks- fought against unfair treatment towards African Americans.
2. Caesar Chavez- fought against unfair treatment towards Mexican Americans.
3. Chief Plenty Coups - decided to not fight with the white man who was taking over their land. They looked for peaceful means to settle their disputes...
etc, etc, etc...

After reading these stories one of my students raised his hand to ask a question. I call on him..

"Miss Nora, why do so many people want to go to America if they are mean to everybody? They are mean to the Mexican Americans, they are mean to the African Americans, they were mean to the Native Americans, and now they are mean to the Arabs.... Why do the Americans still have friends if they are bullies?"

What do I say to answer that question.
What can I say that would not be complete and utter bullshit?
How can I convince him now that this world is still a good place.....

This student is 8 years old... and he left me speechless!

Why am I awake??

It is 1 a.m.

My alarm goes off in 4 and a half hours.....

I am wondering why I am still awake ?!?!?!?!?!?

I foresee bitterness in my very near future!!

A big emotional roller coaster

This weekend was one big emotional roller coaster. I was stuck, I could not excape it. The only thing I could do was buckle up, stick my hands in the air and scream!

My morning started off with me waking up at 7 am. I got up, did some work, cleaned my room. By 10 am I was dressed and in the street. I had to be in Mohandessien at 11. As I am parking my car I run into an old friend. This friend and I used to be close. We used to hang out all the time. I loved being with him. He was always a gentleman. He acted like my knight in shining armor. He did everything that the perfect guy does in the romantic movies. He held the door open, he would open my door, he always brought flowers.... he was the perfect character in a movie. Things were going great... until he told me he wanted to marry me. I freaked! I ran. We have not seen each other in years. He hated me for running. I hated myself for freaking out.
Today as I spoke to him I could see that he was still hurt. I could see a look in his eyes that was not there before. I felt horrible. I never wanted to hurt him. I could not handle it. I felt so bad all day.
After I finished in Mohandessien I had to come back to Heliopolis. I had to pick my grandmother up to take he to run some errands. I get home and I end up waiting 2 hours for her to be ready. I had a lot to do today and this was upsetting me. My grandmother and I do not agree on almost everything. Most of the time I try to shut up when she says something that bothers me.. but today the shit mood I was in did not allow me to let anything slide. I said that I was upset. I told her whenever I disagreed with what she said. I told her when she said things in a way that upset me. I did not let anything slide.
After she finishes getting everything ready we are off to a place called Hawamdaya. It took us about an hour and a half to get there. An hour through the drive my grandmother starts apologizing to me for what she said.. She started explaining to me that she is old fashioned and she still thinks the way she used to when she was a teenager. She apologized to me for that because I was upset. She apologized to me for the way she thinks....
I felt more like shit. I knew at that moment that I was the meanest and worst person on the face of this Earth. I felt so bad it seemed like the wind had been knocked out of me. I could not believe that I could be such a bitch. I wanted to cry!
So.. I apologize and keep explaining that she should never apologize for the way she thinks. That she should think in her own way and that I will accept it. That she is my grandmother and has to be old fashioned.. that is what grandmothers are for.
So.. I drive and I feel like crap. I feel so selfish.
We arrive to Hawamdaya. This is a small town on the outskirts of Cairo. It is a very poor area. We were going to visit a family of orphans. A family that has a very hard life to lead.
Seeing their house hurt me. Seeing the place that they call home was so hard for me to deal with. Seeing the houses and buildings that they looked at day in and day out hurt me. Imagining what their lives are like scared me.
For a 3rd time today I felt horrible... I felt selfish. I needed someone to burst the bubble I was living in.
They were so happy that I was there. They were so kind and generous. I was humbled by their generosity. I was happy that I went. I had an amazing time sitting with them and playing with the kids. I had this weird mix of good and bad feelings. I was so happy and at the same time I was heart broken.
After that I drop my grandmother off in Heliopolis again and I set off to Maadi. I hung out in Maadi for a while and I head home.
I stop at the supermarket that is next to my house. As I am shopping I run into the mother of the love of my life. The mother of my first boyfriend. We exchange pleasantries. I have run into her before. It is always awkward because she likes me a lot and always tells me she thinks her son is an idiot for what happened. Years have passed and I have tried to forget him. I wish she would just let me forget. As we are talking he comes. I am in shock. This is the first time I have seen him since we broke up. I was so much in love with him. I wanted to give him everything. I wanted him to give me everything. I wanted forever with him. He is also the man who hurt me like no other person has ever hurt me. He left the biggest scar when he left. I struggled to heal. I struggled to forget him. I thought I did. When I saw him I realized that no one ever forgets their first love. I realized that my relationship with him will always be something perfect to me. We spoke. It was awkward.
I always pictured me seeing him and telling him how much he hurt me. I pictured me crying and telling him to make it better. Telling him to make me better.
When I saw him it was different. I did not want him to make anything better. I did not want him to know how much he hurt me then, and how I could feel the pain again. I just wanted him to get away because I could not breath. I was in such shock. The conversation seemed like it lasted forever.
It still does not make sense to me.
I never thought my reaction would be like that.
I never thought that I would remember so much.
I never thought I would be able to survive a chance encounter...

More questions answered....

These questions were not as easy as I thought they would be....
Thanks Mr. Not Typical for having me answer them....

1. What are your ambitions, things you hope to achieve in life and what are your goals?
Well... I want to be happy. That is my biggest goal. I want to be good at anything and everything that I do. I want to get my masters, I am still not sure if I want to do a business masters or education one. I want to study psychology too. I want to get married at some point, but not right now. I am too busy figuring myself out now to figure someone else out. I want to have a happy family when I have one. I think I want to write something. I always wanted to be a writer and for some reason I gave up on that.. so I want to accomplish that goal.
I am still trying to figure out if I want to continue teaching because I love it, or join the rat race because it would probably be the better career. When I figure that out I will set a goal for that...

2. What is marriage to you?
This is a very hard question. I do not feel like marriage is something I have to do. I think that marriage is a way of making life more whole. More complete. It is the feeling of total and consuming love that makes you want to share your life with this person. It is complete trust in a person.
It should only be a way to enjoy life more.
It is not a way of starting a family.. or means to a better economic position.
It is a promise to someone that you will do your best to make their life better and that they will do the same to yours.
I also think that marriage is a joint effort. I do not want to marry a guy that comes and pays the dowry and buys me a house and furnishes it. I do not want a list of things the guy gets and a list that I get. This is not marriage. Marriage is more like a full time job. It is something that both parties must be committed to working on. When it is right it works with you.. making life and the marriage easier.. but it is a job nonetheless.
You need to build and shape the marriage together. To work our asses off at marriage and life and after a while realizing that we are making it happen....


3. What are the traits that must be present in YOUR someone?
Well....
He needs to be honest, I hate liars and lying. When there is no trust the relationship might as well be over. If I cannot trust my partner this eats at me and causes so many problems. So.. he needs to be honest and trustworthy.
He needs to be smart. I don't mind listening to someone.. I just need to listen to him because I trust him and have faith that what he is saying is reasonable and right. I will never listen to a man because he is a man. I have to feel that he knows more than I do. The problem with this is that I am smart. I am not being arrogant. I just know that I need a guy who is smarter than I am so that I can trust him. Other than that, stupidity is such a turn off for me.
I do not think I could marry a man that is not funny. I do not want to marry a clown.. but a sense of humor makes a man attractive to me. If we cannot laugh together than life will suck. A life without laughter scares me....
He must be kind, generous, caring, understanding, respectable, dependable, and responsible. He needs to be attractive ... but I think I would prefer him not being drop dead gorgeous.

4. Do you think having a child (or conceiving one) in the first year of marriage is a must/obligation?
Definitely not.. I think that having a child so early puts too much strain on the marriage. When I have kids I want to be able to give them all of me. I want to make sure that I do my best at raising them. To be able to do this I would need to have a strong bond with my husband. We would need time to create that bond. We would need time to enjoy being married, so that we can enjoy parenthood together. We would need time to get to know each other. I think all this would be easier to accomplish if we postpone having children.

5. Are there any illnesses you suffer from?
Nope...

6. Are you social? Who are your friends?
I think i am very social. I love being around people. I love being with my friends, even if we are not doing anything. I like feeling that bond between friends. I like helping them. I like doing stupid things and making memories.
Not sure what is meant by who are your friends, I am assuming that we do not want a list of names...

7. What's your relationship with your parents/brothers/sisters?
My relationship with my parents:
My mother and I are very close. We have a pretty cool relationship. I am able to talk with her about anything and everything. She is definitely one of my role models.
My relationship with my father is difficult to describe. While I was growing up our relationship was not that great. Now our relationship is good. I know that he will always be there for me. I love it when he is here. There is just some weird barrier between us. At times I feel I do not know him very well and I do not know how to get to know him. Recently I have been seeing our relationship differently and I am hoping that I understand it and him better. Our relationship is also changing. I am enjoying it more now... he treats me like an adult. He tries to teach me things.. it is starting to become more normal and relaxed. I am enjoying this now.

My relationship with all my brothers and sisters is great. I love them all with my heart. My relationship with my half brothers and half sister is not as close as the relationship with my full brother and sister. I absolutely adore each and every one of them. We are able to joke with each other. We can make fun of each other. I know that they will be there to help me whenever I need help. I have learnt so much from both of them. They are also my role models.


8. What are your hobbies? How do you like to spend your free time?
I like hanging out with friends. I like reading. I love singing. I sound horrible.. I am always off key, but I sing anyway. I love travelling. I love being around children.
I spend my free time with friends mostly. I like writing also. Either here, in a journal, to my family.. I just like to write.


9. Do you do any voluntary/charity work?
Yes, I do. I enjoy it a lot too. I always feel great when I do things like that. I feel like I am stepping out of my protective bubble and seeing things a bit more clearly. Sometimes, it is the only way I know how to appreciate the things that I have.
I am not as active as I would like to be anymore. Last week I decided that I need to be a bit more active...

10. How would you feel if my mother or yours interfered in our relationship or life later?
Well.. Mr. Not Typical.. we haven't met or anything.. I am slightly scared that you would call it a relationship.. If you tell me that you love me I will run!! ;o)
Seriously, I have had my fair share and a bit more of mother-in-law issues. I do not like anyone interfering with a relationship. I think that the 2 people need to just figure things out alone.
I would not let my family interfere and I would expect that from my partner also. If he is not able to keep people from interfering then he would probably not be able to protect the relationship if he needed to. I think that would make me not feel safe in a relationship with him... So, I guess that I would not be able to be in a relationship if there was interference.
Now, I am not saying that they would not be involved. I am just expecting that they will not be the cause of any problems and that they will not think of themselves as a solution to any problems. They should not even try to give any solutions to problems.


Kareem, Lonely twin, and all you other people who are reading this.. now it is your turn! ;o)

Hind sight is 20/20

My relationship with my father is different. At the high point of our relationship it would be described as rocky. It would be considered unstable. I hated my relationship with him. I hated the fact that I loved him so much. I hated that I wanted to hate him but I was not able to. I wanted to hate him because he hurt me so much. I wanted to hate so that he could not hurt me anymore.
I could not hate him.
I love him so much.
I continued to try to make him proud.
I continued to try to please him.
I continued to try to be the perfect daughter.
I continued to jump through the hoops.
I continued to walk on the eggshells.

I just wanted him to notice me.
I just wanted him to make me feel like I am everything to him. I just wanted him to let me know he cared.

Since I moved back to Egypt and became a teacher I have changed my perspective on many things. I have changed my opinions about many things. I do not know if teaching has brought me more into the real world than I was before… or if it was just time to grow up. Whatever it was, I see things differently now.
I also see my father differently now. I see my relationship with him differently. I think that he was trying to show he cared in his own Egyptian way. I think I was blind to his attempts. I think that he did do many things that either I could not, or chose not to see. My father acted like many of the parents that I see nowadays at work. I do not know if I am just giving him one more excuse or if I finally understand.. but maybe my father was just too Egyptian and I was just too American.
I expected him to show that he cared and that I was important according to my American standards… and maybe he was showing me all this according to what he knew, according to his Egyptian standards. Maybe he was expecting me to be the perfect Egyptian daughter.. and I was trying to be the perfect American daughter. We were both trying hard… but not trying for what the other wanted. We did not try to see things through each other's eyes. We looked through our own eyes, and we disappointed ourselves.
Both of us becoming frustrated with the other we pushed each other away. We continued to grow farther apart until we could no longer see the other person. We pushed until we were hurt. I pushed until I was numb. I said things only to hurt him, to get him back for hurting me so much. I said things trying to wake him up…. never realizing that he was awake and trying.

Sometimes realizing that you were wrong is hard. Realizing that if you could have seen clearly life could have been so much better.
I guess hind sight is 20/20.

I wish that my father and I were able to understand each other a bit more. I wish that we were a little more alike. I wish that I understood him before I judged him.

I am happy that I am trying now. I hope that I am right, I hope that he was trying and I just did not see. I hope that he was a great father and I was too harsh on him.

I hope he knows I love him….. with all my heart.

I made it..

I made it...
I cannot believe the weekend is here. I cannot believe that I can finally sleep!
I did not have enough time this week to sleep.
Since Sunday I have had a combined total of 20 hours of sleep!
Yes, 20 hours this WHOLE WEEK!!
I think I am on an "exhaustion" high.
I will sleep! I will sleep in tomorrow (until 8 a.m. ;o))
This thought is making me happy!

Let's play tag...

This one is for all my adoring fans.. a long list on information you were probably dying to know about me!
Now it is your turn. Answer these questions for your adoring fans.... ;o)

Section 1 - Last 1s?
1. last beverage? Cappuccino from On the Run
2. last phone call? Purveya el Hindaya
3. last instant message? (K) telling me how much I should be tipping the guys washing my car
4. last cd played? I never play cd's.. but last cd I heard was Amy Winehouse
5. last time you cried? February 9th – because I was talking to my sister and I missed her so much.

Section 2 - 6 Have You Evers:
1. dated someone twice? yes…
2.been cheated on? yes… first love ;o(
3. kissed someone & regretted it? yes
4. lost someone special? yes… family and friends ;o(
5. been depressed? of course, who hasn't
6. been drunk and threw up? yes…

Section 3 - List 3 Favourite Colors
1. Blue
2. Purple
3. Pink

Section 4 - This month have you (Past Month)
1. Made a new friend? Unfortunately no
2. Fallen out of love? Nope.. I don't think anyone ever falls out of love.
3. Laughed until you cried? Of course… Life sucks.. laugh about it!! ;o)
4. Met someone who changed your life? Met someone this month no, but my life has been changed by people this month, but I knew them from before.
5. Found out who your true friends were? I knew from before… but situations happened this month that proved it.
6. Is there something you want to tell someone? I always have something to tell someone… and I tell them. I am brutally honest most of the time. I know what I want most of the time and I am very direct about it.
7. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends? What are top friends???
8. How many people on your top friends do you know in real life? Well.. most of my friends are imaginary.. but there are a couple of real ones that I know…
9. How many kids do you want to have? 2, not sure if I want 2 girls or a guy and a girl. I know how to be a girl so I think it would make life easier.. plus I would not have to teach them how to pee standing ;o) but having a brother is also very cool. They're fun sometimes and they always have cool sweatshirts to steal.
10. Do you have any pets? No! I hate animals. I especially hate anything with 4 legs and fur…

Section Five - What Else
1. Do you wanna change your name? Nope.. already did that

2. What did you do for your last birthday? Dinner with my family in New Jersey. Family drama and large amounts of cash. Belated birthday dinner with friends here in Cairo.
3. What time did you wake up today? 5:30 am
4.What were you doing at midnight last night? Driving home
5. Name something you CANNOT wait for?
a cd of songs someone has been promising me ;o)
seeing my family
my birthday
6. Last time you saw your father? Christmas Eve 2006
7. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Get rid of the family drama
8.What are you listening to right now? Rome wasn't built in a day – Morcheeba
9. Have you ever talked to Tom? I have talked to a couple Toms…
10. Have you ever talked about someone behind their back? hehehehe I do it all the time! And too their face.. and on my blog…
11. What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone? K's jacket
12. Who’s getting on your nerves right now? This very second.. no one. This period of my life.. random people at work, especially the psycho bitch boss.
13. Most visited web page? g-mail and facebook
14. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi in Egypt, Coke in the States (Strange coincidence.. I had a long conversation about this topic last week)
15. Have you kissed or been kissed by anyone in the past week? Yes ;o)
16.Mac or PC? Doesn't matter.. I am a computer idiot anyway

Now its time to check the weather!!

Wednesday night I was exhausted. I went to bed very late. I was worried that I would not wake up on time for work. I laid in bed wondering if I should just stay up or sleep.
It is difficult to fall asleep when you are worried like that. I did fall asleep. I was still worried in my sleep.
I woke up 3 times to look at the clock.
Funny thing is.. I was dreaming. Just a normal dream with people shopping in a mall. Events occured but nothing out of the ordinary.. except.. everytime I would wake up to look at the clock I would say (in the dream) "Now its time to check the weather"!!
I do not know what I cared about the weather. I did not even check the weather.
Sometimes I am too weird.. even I do not understand myself at times!

Now its time to check the weather!!

He inspired me...

I was with a friend of mine yesterday and an excellent idea came to me...
You know when you are with a person you like. Everything is going fine. You are having fun. Things are romantic in this cute not-romantic kind of way. You feel good.
The moment comes.. and everything is so right...
and then it happens....
you hear something.. and you cannot believe it!!
Did you really just hear those words?!?!?!?

My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want you to play with my ding a ling
My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want you to play with my ding a ling

The moment was butchered!! ;o)
We both laughed our asses off! I realized that there is absolutely no way to be romantic with a song like that playing! I think it is impossible.
Impossible is nothing, my ass! This is impossible.
So, when I stopped laughing I decided I will create a "butcher the moment" playlist on my ipod...
So, what songs would really butcher a moment? What songs would make it impossible to feel romantic?

So far I have thought of:
1. My Ding a Ling
2. Move Bitch, Get out the way
3. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, ... and GAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!

Well.. still thinking..
Help!
Any ideas ???

The psychotic, pathetic, and amusing ramblings of a very tired and scared girl...

I am tired. And I am not sure why I have not gone to sleep.
I think i am too tired to try to walk all the way to my bed! Funny how far it seems when you are tired. I know I will be bitter tomorrow and that is stressing me out.
God, I wish someone was here to pull me outta this chair and get me into my big, warm, comfy bed!!!
I am trying to tempt myself to go... Bed.. nice! Chair.. bad!
I think I am also slightly scared... I have been hearing strange noises. Random shit on my desk started shaking.I heard a door open and close twice, the washing machine keeps washing clothes.. I hear it working.. but I do not hear it stopping. I think it has been washing these clothes for me now for 3 hours!
I am scared to walk around the house alone.
I wish I was not here alone now!
I wish I did not have that Ouija board conversation last night...
I wish I was not mocking it!!!
K.. I believe your theory! Ouija boards could be real.. and the aliens are definately fucking with us one "rn" at a time!
Kent, could there be a Ouija board ruling body? Or a ruling body that encompasses all things magical and scary in the dark? A ruling body that controls the Ouija boards, Boogie men (of change), witches, trolls, and the 3 tooth Librarians of the worlds?
I must have done something bad to this ruling body.. and the washing machine ruling body!

I have noticed that I ramble when I am exhausted. heheheh but for some reason I amuse myself. I am tired and I am delusional.. and I will probably be pathetic and laugh at my own jokes..
But I do not care....
Call me pathetic... !
But you are entertained enough to still be reading this.. so just admit it.. I am funny! And if you are not entertained than you are pathetic! Get a life.. find something funny!!

The Ex-Files

I try not to hold grudges. Forgive and forget is what I try to do.
I get mad, I get hurt, I learn, I vent, and I move on.
This philosophy has enabled me to remain friends with almost all of my ex-boyfriends. This at times is not very easy, especially if some feelings remain on either part... but I have managed.
Recently something weird has been happening. A few of my ex-es have for some reason decided that they want me back. That they are still in love with me. They realized that what we had should still be.
I am not sure if this realization came when they found out that I am happy. When they found out that there is some "Incredible Guy" that I am somehow involved with. I think this is what stirred their feelings because they all like to bash this guy. To undermine whatever it is we have going (technically. what we don't have going). To make me doubt him. To make me unhappy.
I think it is funny.. and somehow sad. "Incredible Guy" agrees... ;o)
I am not sure if I am a bitch for telling him.. or if I should tell him because it is his right to know who is talking shit about him.
I just wish they would stop. Their jealousy and childish behavior that they are showing now is probably what ended whatever we had... and will probably end any kind of friendship we have managed to keep.
I guess whoever said that you want what you cannot have really knew what he was talking about.

8 digit phone numbers....

A random discovery this weekend.
My home phone number has changed.
They added a 2 before the old number. This means that my phone number is now 8 digits.
I have never seen an 8 digit phone number.
It is too weird for me.... whatever happened to area codes?

I am sick!

I am sick!
I hate being sick. I hate knowing that I need to be at home in my bed resting.
I hate being tired all the time.
I hate taking medicine.
I hate not being able to breath.
I hate sounding like a man!
;o(

Well... its bed time for me. I have been up for 30 minutes already!!