Comparisons...

I remember when I hated myself for having had a boyfriend. I hated myself for at some point in my life believing that I had been in love.

I hated it because I knew that from that moment I would always be comparing people.
I would always compare my guy with a former guy.
I would always compare a romantic evening, with a previous romantic evening with some other guy.

It sounds bitchy and whoreish I know… but I believe it is human nature.

Happiness is relative. How happy you are depends on how miserable the people around you are.
Don't believe me?
Find a man who drives a Lancer. A nice car, an average car. Pair him up with a man who doesn't own a car. Mr. Lancer owner feels superior, and happy.
Once Mr. Lancer owner sits with Mr. BMW owner feelings of inadequacy present themselves and he is no longer happy.

Happiness is relative.

Therefore, happiness in relationships depends on previous relationships and the relationships of people around you.

I think that for the most part comparisons are unfair.
After one relationship you are different.
If a lot of time spans between the two relationships the whole world has actually changed.
There is no way to compare the 2 relationships and actually believe that the comparison is fair.

So, I fight comparing. I am not always successful.

My "guy" always wins the comparison. Actually, my guy smothers the comparison.
Why?
I believe that my guy is perfect. Not in a childish sense where I am blind to his faults and insecurities, but in an adult sense where I can see his faults and insecurities.
I can see them and I love him, and them, more.

His faults make him more human to me. As much as I try to put him on a pedestal, his faults remind me that he is not up there.
He is here, next to me.

It is so much easier to love someone not on a pedestal.
It is so much easier to break down and cry with someone you know is real.
It is easier to show your own faults and insecurities to someone who possesses some of his own.
It is easier to be normal and real in front of someone real.

Being real makes me love him more, because he is real, but he is perfect..

Perfect for me at least!