The day I became a racist...
I don't watch the news. I stopped sometime towards the end of 2001. I was in New York on September 11th. The whole nation was plastered in front of their t.v.s watching FOX, CNN, ABC, etc news.. Everybody had to have their fix. We all needed to know what was going on. I personally watched it because I was scared. I was hoping that knowledge would make me feel better. I was hoping that knowledge would make me stop sitting in bed at night wondering what the hell is going on in this world.. wondering when the world became such a scary place to be...
It didn't...
I was petrified for months. I would hyperventilate when I would think about my upcoming flight. I would not want to travel. I became scared of the dark. I became scared of loud noises. I became scared of the sound of a plane's engine. My fear of flying was magnified. I was living in fear.
A few days, weeks, months, something after September 11th I had to get on a plane. I was going to London and then Egypt. I was in line for one of the many security checks at JFK and I remember seeing a man with a beard. A muslim man with a beard. I do not remember if he was with a family or alone. I do not know if there was more than one or only one.. but I remember him. I saw him and I saw his beard and I freaked out. I did not want to board my plane. I did not want to fly. I was petrified that this man might be on my flight. I was petrified that this muslim man and I might board the same plane. I was petrified of a man who shares the same religion as myself.
Extremely religious people have always weirded me out. I have memories of priests in churches, religious family members, sheikh friends of my father, etc that have left me uneasy. I never hated them. I just never understood them. This was the first time that I felt extreme fear solely based on appearance... because this apperance happened to represent religion.
I became predjuiced. I became racist. I became a person that I never thought I would be.
I was torn... I remember realizing the fact that I am racist. I remember understanding that I am generalizing. I remember still being scared and hating myself for it.
This is when I realized that that was the effect of news on me.
News had somehow managed to influence me. News changed me and changed everything I believed in. I guess I am to blame as my beliefs should not falter.. but I am not perfect. My beliefs do falter. My convictions are lacking.
This is when I decided to not watch the news.
This is when I decided that political ignorance is much more attractive.
posted by Nora @ 6:30 PM
7 Comments:
Can one become racist towards his own people? Towards a community in which he belongs?
i think so. i'm racist towards beards and veils. i can't help it. they pass judgements on me so it's my right to pass judgements at them.
i know i am not the most politically correct, but it helps me. Just like they pass judgement and hatred on me to help re-inforce their beliefs that they are doing the right thing, i'm doing the same thing too.
and i am 100% egyptian and 100% muslim......
Not only racist but ignorant as well. Did you know that none of the 19 hijackers had beards?
"Et tu, Brute?"
and you, Brutus?
:)
Jade,
I think one can become racist against anyone. Racism is just a judgement about a whole group of people...
Other than that, I do not feel that I am a part of that community.. which is why I think I judged them and feared them. It is out of my ignorance and my failure to understand.
Luli,
I do not think that racism can be justified. I do not think it is ok to be be a racist.. even though I know those people pass judgements about me and my lifestyle. I am wrong and they are wrong...
Amr,
I did not fear the beard. I feared that it signified that he was muslim. I don't know if I knew back then that those men did not have beards... I just knew that they were muslims.. and that is what I feared. I feared the muslim man. I feared a man who was devout and a steadfast believer.. and to me that is what his beard signified. So, the beard signified a lot, but it was not what I feared. I think I would have feared the same man if he had no beard and was reciting Quran.. I feared the religion.
I was listening to Sting's song "Russians".
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2109589040406149247&q=sting&total=28472&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=4
It reminds me of that growing fear that Europeans and Americans were living in the 80's.
The Soviet Union is gone . . and now we are living in a new kind of fear, but I beleive that it is not as serious as the previous one.
hehe . . what a guy like me is supposed to feel in a U.S airport?
Should I fear the terrorists? or fear the DOHLS?
Here is another song for you . . hope it makes you feel better
http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/8572800.swf
: )
what annoys me about the human race is it's insatiable appetite for hypocicy.
You do something, you enjoy it, but you never own up to it and condemn it.
Let's face it, we're not perfect. It gives us pleasure to annoy those who annoy us, judge those who judge us, and hate those who hate us.
Pretending to others you don't do it, maybe a form of maintaining a good image.
Pretending to yourself you don't do it, is dishonest.
Calling others for doing it themselves, is hypocritical.
So in my point of view, racisim - which is not an accurate term here since it doesn't refer to race - is justifiable. Violence isn't. I don't like the beardies and Vieled, i do not wish to be associated with them, they feel exactly the same towards me. As long as we're not killing eachother it's fine.
You have to rememeber that those differences are ideological and behavioral differences, not god given traits like race, origin or ethnicity. This, for me, makes it ok for me to think of them the way that i do.
long response eh?
Amr,
Thanks for the links.. great song.
I don't remember fearing the Russians. I guess time does that... I do not think they are hated in American anymore either. I think that fearing a whole religion is worse.
Luli,
Long response, but very enjoyable. Look, I know what you're saying and I do understand. I just still think it is wrong. I want to continue thinking it is wrong, this way.. when I do it I still feel bad about it. I think that if we accept passing judgement as being ok then we will slowly get worse and start accept more negative characteristics.
It is a very "ideal world" kind of goal.. but I think most goals should be...
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