Maybe I am not so bad...

I had a weird conversation yesterday at work.
It was with my semi-boss.
He is a nice guy.. I think. He is kind and helpful. He used to flirt with me at the beginning of the year. He stopped when I told him I had a boyfriend. I respected that. He did not know that my guy and I broke up a few months ago until a few weeks ago when he asked me how things were because he sees I am really happy now.
Since he found out my guy and I broke up I sometimes get the feeling that he is being different with me again. He looks at me differently. He lets my fuck ups slide with less hassle. He is more keen on helping me.
Anyway, yesterday we were talking about how rumors about us are flying around school. We spoke about the rumors. We laughed about the stupidity of it all.
He was being nice and told me that I am a topic of rumors because I have a very large fan base at the school. He said that everybody thinks I am a great person. He said that he always overhears people talking about how nice, kind, and generous I am. He kept telling me nice things.. My ego liked it.
And then he told me that I am one of the few people who intimidate him. I laughed. Those of you who know me, know that I am not intimidating at all. He told me that I am very intimidating. He says that as a guy it is scary to see such a kind, frail, independent woman. It is scary to see a woman who laughs from her soul. It is scary to see a woman with the ability to love her students so strongly. It is intimidating to see a woman who knows what she wants and what will make her happy. It is scary when I woman is able to express herself and call you on your shit so easily. It is intimidating when a woman demands respect for herself in every aspect, and is outspoken enough to get it. He said it is indimidating to see such a strong woman.
I told him that it is only intimidating to close minded oppressive controlling people... He disagreed.
He said it puts pressure on the man to be strong and perfect. It puts pressure on him to make her laugh. It puts pressure on a man to protect and defend her, but at the same time let her protect and defend herself. It puts pressure on a man to know what she wants even when she doesn't say it. It puts pressure on a man to actually think about what he is saying and rid his conversations of the bullshit he spews.
I do not know if I am right or wrong.. but I felt he had feelings for me.
I freaked out and asked him to sign some work paper and ran to my classroom...

It was a weird conversation that has left me thinking since yesterday... but at the same time it made me feel great that people view me as all of those things....

Maybe I am not as bad as I view myself sometimes...