Snapshots...

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...
I felt that when I was going through some old pictures I have.

My graduation pictures...
Me, 2 of my closest friends, my aunt and her husband, 3 cousins, and an uncle.
Notice the absence of my dad. He could not be bothered to fly to attend. It broke my heart. I wanted him to see me that day, I wanted him to be proud, I wanted him to see me as a grown up...

My brother's Marine picture...
This is the first picture he took as a Marine. He went through a lot to become a Marine. He endured shit that I cannot imagine. He wanted to feel strong and invincible. He wanted to escape all the pain he felt. I didn't know what he was trying to escape from when he took the picture. When I saw it I felt the pride that anyone with a Marine in their family feels... but my heart broke when I saw the cold emotionless look on his face. To me, it looked like my little brother was a cold, broken man... This picture breaks my heart more now.. now that I know what he was trying to feel strong against.

My dad's wedding picture...
He married a whore. She looks like a cheap whore in the picture. I was not there. Neither were my brother or sister. We were never really a part of their life. I think that is how she wanted it. She wanted my dad and his money for herself... and she got it. She took the money and broke the man I call "daddy".

Picture of my mom and my niece...
My niece is wearing a "galabaya". She is cute. My mom is holding her. My mom looks beautiful. She is smiling from her heart. You can see the love she has for my niece in her eyes. She is happy. I bought the galabaya for my niece when I first found out that I would be going home to visit her. I had never seen her before and I was excited. I loved the galabaya and I loved how my niece looked in it. This is one of my favorite pictures of her.

Picture from my sister's honeymoon...
They went to Italy. She looks so happy. He looks happy. It is a black and white picture so it has this timeless and nostalgic feel to it. Everytime I see this picture I regain my faith in the instituion of marriage and relationships.

Recent pictures of me...
I used to hate pictures of me. I like the recent pictures of me. I am always smiling. I am happy. I am not self-conscious and covering myself up. I am not hiding from the camera because I want to hide from the world anymore. I am comfortable being me.

Pictures from my engagement...
We broke up years ago.. but I still like the pictures. I don't harbor negative feelings. My heart doesn't break when I see them. I don't want him back. I was happy that day. I couldn't stop smiling. I liked my dress. I liked the party. I liked being the superstar of the day. My favorit picture from that day is a picture of my uncle and me sitting next to the pool after the party. He is my favorite uncle and I loved the fact that he surprised me and came.

Pictures of my students...
I love them. They're tiny. They're cute. They remind me that life is simple. They help me see the wonder of everything. They amaze me when I think about how much they have learned in one year. They are six years old. They are tri-lingual. They can use computers, cell phones, they memorize songs and verses from the Quran, they play and they study, they are learning responsibility and at the same time want nothing more than to run around and play. They are smart. They are sarcastic (my influence!). They are funny. They are six years old.