My Sister....
My sister and I were not as close as normal sisters are. We always had some layer of coldness or some uncrossable distance between us. I would always have my defenses ready when she was around.
I do not know why this was. She is a great person and an amazing sister to have.
I guess our relationship might have something to do with us not living together during our childhood. My sister moved to my dad's house when I was 10. I needed her to be with me. I did not want to be the oldest one.. and without her I was. Without her I had to deal with shit that I was not able to do....
15 years passed but our relationship did not change much.
For the past 2 years there has been a difference.
This summer more than ever. More than any other time that I spent with her....
This summer we are making some memories that make me smile as I look back on them... Memories that are making me forget the old bad memories I had.
This summer we are actually being sisters. Uggghh!! That sounded like something from Lifetime Television!
Ok.. well. Seriously. This vacation my sister and I are different. The dynamics of our relationship is different too. It is nice.
This reminds me of a long time ago. I was around 13. I was going through my rebelious phase. I was into music like Nirvana, Courtney Love, Juliana Hatfield 3, No Doubt... It was the beginning of my alternative phase.
I was talking to my sister. I told her there is this song that reminded me of her. I told her to listen to it. It was called My Sister by The Juliana Hatfield 3
She listened to the first few lines and got pissed and shut it off.
My sister... my sister... my sister.
I hate my sister, shes such a bitch.
She acts as if she doesnt even know that I exist.
But I would do anything to let her know I care.
But I am only talking to myself cos she isnt there.
My sister, I love my sister, shes the best.
Shes cooler than any other girl that I have ever met.
She had the greatest band, she had the greatest guy.
Shes good at everything and doesnt even try.
Shes got a wall around her nobody can climb.S
he lets her ladder down for those who really shine.
I tried to scale it, but to me shes blind.
So I lit a firecracker, went off in my eye.
I miss my sister, whyd she go ?
Shes the one who would have taken me
To my first all-ages show.
It was the violent femmes and the del fuegos,
Before they had a record out. before they went gold,
And started to grow.
I miss my sister. I miss my sister.I miss my sister.
I really miss her.
I just wanted to let her know that I missed her and I thought she was perfect. She just thought I was telling her that I hated her....
I am sure I will miss her when I leave. I will miss her waking me up hideously early to go get the Harry Potter book. Or convincing me to go to the midnight show so that we can be the first people to see the movie. I will miss painting kids furniture with her late at night. I will miss her taking me for rides in the car to calm me down and help me get all the bullshit into perspective.
I will miss a lot...