Mutterings of a drugged up mind....

Ok...
6 days have passed since my surgery... They were painful.. but I guess they would have been much worse had I not been so drugged up. I guess I have been basically drugged up since last Friday.

Friday was the first time I ever took Morphine. As soon as it was injected into my IV I understood why people get addicted. I was in the hospital in so much pain, my eyes were filled with tears because it hurt so much.

The nurse came in and told me it would all be better soon.

Damn, was she right!

Instantly I could feel my whole body get warm. Life seemed good again... well, it was good until I tried to move. I just laid still and silent. I stared at the ceiling for a few hours. Those hours were the first pain free hours I had in a long time. It felt good.

They kept injecting me with strong pain killers. I just kept lying still and staring at the ceiling.
The most random thoughts would pass through my mind.

Even now, 6 days after surgery I am still taking stong drugs. I still have random thoughts. I still stare silently at the ceiling.

My thoughts cover a broad sprectrum of topics. There is no purpose or order to most of my questions.
"Hey boyfriend, why do you love me? How many men and women would be in your ideal orgy? What would you do if I were paralyzed? Would you leave me?"
I do not even ask the questions to start a discussion. Actually, I am silent after the question is answered. It is as if I do not care what the answer is. Or my mind is so drugged up that I really cannot process anything.

I ask my mom every 20 minutes what time it is. I do not do this to be annoying. I seriously forget everytime she tells me. There is a clock next to my bed, but I forget about it too.

I am also really emotional. I do not know which drug is giving me that side effect, but it is weird. I cry about almost anything. I cried because someone painted a room red on the Home Decorating channel. I was seriously moved by the bright shade of red that was on the walls.
I cry whenever anyone calls me to see how I am doing. I do not know why I cry. I do not understand why I am so emotional. I know that it has nothing to do with my period, so I really think one of the medicines I am taking is doing that to me.

I was talking to my boyfriend yesterday, and out of the blue I started crying. As he was asking me what is wrong and why am I crying I just started to laugh.

Well, they definitely are some powerful drugs!

After I take them I feel like I can do anything. Like I am invincible. Well, i feel like that until I try to sit up and realize it hurts too much. It is a sad reality check!

I am also very calm. But a scary kind of calm....

It is weird, i am staring off into the ceiling again... and I know that I am doing it, but I cannot make myself stop it. I just get this blank stare and that is it.

The random question of the minute:
Why do Mexican soap operas look a lot like Egyptian soap operas. Same hair styles, clothes, and bad acting? Why are they both so horrible?
To they train together? Do they get the same teachers?
Do Egyptians enjoy watching Mexican soap operas? Do Mexicans enjoy watching Egyptian soap operas? Would they think it is quality entertainment, or would they think that the soap operas are poorly made?

God, i cannot wait until I am off these pills!
I hate taking medicine and I rarely do. Maybe that is why these pills are fucking me up so much.