Lies...

Sometimes we lie to ourselves. Lying protects us from seeing ourselves in a negative light. Lying sometimes makes us feel more accepted, more popular, more desired, more needed... and myriad other "mores".
There are other reasons we lie too.
Sometimes we lie to ourselves telling ourselves that we don't like a person. We'll lie and try our hardest to believe it. We'll act like all these feelings are nothing.
We are so afraid of these feelings that we lie.
We are so afraid of letting another person into our safe world that we lie.
We are so afraid of being hurt that we lie.
Lying is our safety net. We can't let go of ourselves completely so we lie.
Most people can lie to themselves so well that they do not realize that they are lying.
I think I lie to myself quite a bit. I sometimes joke about being delusional... but I really am.

I made myself believe that my feelings for him weren't as strong as they really were. I was lying because I was worried that his feelings weren't very strong. I was scared of admitting my feelings and letting him in. I was scared of letting him hurt me. I was scared of letting him have the power to hurt me. I was lying to myself.... I decided that I will stop lying to myself.

I like him a lot more than I let on.

He really does have the power to hurt me. I am not scared though, I have faith in him.