Working hard for nothing....
I do not know what is going on with me these days. I feel like nothing is in my control anymore. I feel that no matter how hard I try to control my life that I in fact control nothing.
Maybe I am too passive most of the time...
But even in the things I am not passive about. The things that I sought and worked hard for are not working. I tried really hard.. and i the end it seems like it was not enough..
My one goal in life was to be happy... and oddly enough I cannot achieve it.
Well, I am happy sometimes.. but it is always a temporary state. It is just for a while and then things go back to whatever they were like before...
Why is happiness not the norm?
Why do I see and feel everything being destroyed but there is nothing I can do?
How come I cannot make things work, no matter how badly Iw ant to or how hard I try...
Why am I a fucking failure all the time?
Why am I so fucking depressed?
God, Help me!!
posted by Nora @ 1:13 PM
8 Comments:
I'm not one to give advice, as I don't believe in it. I can only speak for my somewhat bumpy ride.
I subscribe to the delusional mantra "fall down 7 get up 8." To the point where I'd talk to myself and say who am I kidding??????? But things always eventually pan-out for the better.
"Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must." -some wise man with a very long name :D.....cheer up
Zerocool,
Thanks. I am not always a drama queen. I know that in the end things normally have happened for a reason. I know that none of this will kill me. I know that somehow theoretically I will be ok.
It just sucks right now.
I will fall, and I will get up. I will probably drink too much alcohol in the process. I will cry.. and in a short time I think I will be ok. Or at least I am delusional enough this morning to think so.
Thanks for the non-advice..
:o)
What is it to be happy?
Define Happiness.
Not being able to attain your goals does not make you a failure putting in mind that you have worked for them but other circumstances got in the way.
hang in there, things will change... i am saying that for both of us hoping it would happen soon
Jade,
Well, defining happiness it a bit hard.. but it is a feeling. Just that "the world is smiling at me" feeling. It is the absence of the heaviness in your heart.
I know that working to achieve a goal should be enough.. but in the end the result is the same.. failure. It does not matter iof it is because there was not enough work done, or if it is because of other circumstances..
Both feel like shit in the end!
Insomniac:
Thanks beautiful! I hope that things change for both of us too.
Good luck.
I liked this statement:
".. but it is always a temporary state" very much. Yes, I could relate to it... I think this is how you can tell if you are in happy period in your life or not... by noticing whether it's the 'happy' or 'sad' periods that are temporary.
uggghhh been a while since I was in a 'happy' period :S
Feshfesh,
I know what you mean. This not happy period of my life is lasting longer than I would like it to...
Hope the happiness is not a temporary state for long...
it's official. jade's a fucking moron.
what is happiness?
are you shitting me? stop reading a goddamn zen handbook and realize this is real! life and these feelings are real, you fucking hippie.
jesus. get a life.
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