Relationships...
I am a self-proclaimed former relationship addict.
I have been in a lot more relationships than I think is healthy. I would move from one relationship to another to avoid feeling the pain of being alone.
I guess having a guy say he loved me was a lot easier for me than saying I love myself.
I needed someone to love me. Sadly, I think I have to admit that this probably stems from some former "daddy issues".
Damn, I think my family has fucked me up a lot more than they should have been allowed to do.
Anyway, back to relationships.
I loved being in relationships.
As I look back at my previous relationships I am not sure why I was addicted to them. I have been analyzing why I entered that relationship, and how it affected me, and where that person and I stand now.
I realized that the reason "rebound" had to be used a lot more than I liked.
I am still trying to figure out why I needed people so much.
I am still trying to figure out why rebound relationships dragged themselves out so long.
I did realize that I suck at breaking up with people.
I did find that not all of them were rebound relationships. I had some very strong relationships and as I looked back I found that I do miss those people somehow.
I am worried that I became a bit more jaded with each relationship.
I think that because of the many breakups I have been through it is hard for me to feel secure anymore. It is hard for me to believe that anything is forever. That is scary. I know that nothing really is forever.. but I enjoyed being delusional.
I used to regret some of the relationships, but I think I do not anymore. I think I learned abit about myself with them..
posted by Nora @ 9:21 AM
15 Comments:
It's true how every relationship teaches us a little bit more about ourselves..
But it also takes a little piece of your heart with it.
You must learn how to be self-sufficient Nora...
I too, hate being alone, but instead of having many relationships - I had a few that lasted an average of 3-4 years. It was wrong, but I just couldnt let go... Now I guess I am fine being on my own... I keep looking at it as a break to discover my own self "by myself"
You are supposedly in a relationship now right? Why dont you start weighing why you got into this one in the first place, & look at all the positives that come along with it. If there is nothing crucially wrong to break it off - maybe it's time you start thinking about the possibiity of "forever"...
I say Bravo
Who wants to be in ANYTHING "forever"?
Not me....
Max,
We ladies function differently...
finding me is paramount....finding and chasing a four letter dream comes after....how could I ever 4 letter someone, when i don't even know myself.......chasing the myth of the lore of relationships is what sounds addicting.....
and thats how i live my life after a relationship that almost tore me away from my parents forever....blogged about it but had to delete it.
jade does have point if your relationship is not toxic then full steam ahead.....but if not....pick up and find that person inside you .....ooops that sounds like advice disregard :D
Jade:
Actually, I had quite a few relationships that lasted a year and more. I also have a few that didn't. I definitely know what you mean about not being able to let go.
I was trying to discover myself and just enjoy being myself for a while.. and I did not want to be in a relationship. I did not want to be in love. I did not want a guy around...
ANd that is when I met my boyfriend!
jade, I do not think it is as much a problem of being self sufficient as other things. I am actually quite self sufficient... but I think I grew up more alone than what was healthy. Did not have the stable relationships that people should have. I think I just need that. I just think it is bigger than a need to be self sufficient.
Maxxed Out:
You make it sound like a bad thing! :o)
I think most people do what something forever, that is why marriage is such a popular institution!
Zerocool:
You are definitely right about needing to find me. I tried doing it before, not sure if I even knew how. It was nice, and I definitely learned a bit. I think I stopped trying so much.
Sorry to hear about the relationship. Glad that is all seems to be better now. Why did you have to delete the post?
I think that we are still in the evaluating phase of the relationship. I guess we will see how that goes when we figure out if we can go full steam ahead or not!
:o)
oh no not just the post, but my whole blog...long story....jade knows it.
Well, Nora, I guess it has to do with your family in a way. You didn't get enough love or care and you looked for attention somewhere else.
But believe me being in a bad relationship or going through an awful breakup is a lot worse than being single or alone.
Learn to give "more" to yourself and love yourself unconditionally. Don't judge yourself.
Hope all is well. Take care.
-Marwa-
can you name some of the people you miss :-) ...well I am joking....here is my advice, I did it before so I know it works.....find a good shrink who will listen to you unload all the weight on your chest about family, love, relationships, mom and dad, etc.....
p.s. I did that after you :-) not because of you (entirely) but after we broke up....
Marwa,
I agree with you somehow. I just wonder how long it takes to get over shit like that. I mean, as much as it hurts.. I am sure that I have to get over it somehow.
Yeah, the painful breakups have definitely fucked me up more than anything else in life....
Thanks for dropping by!
Sherif,
Well, your name would not be on the list of people.. so don't worry! Therapy is definitely a good idea. I was seriously thinking about it recently.
Know any good ones here in Egypt? Know any good American ones here in Egypt?
:o)
Any Muslim psych will be good.
Sherif
Why a Muslim one?
I think I'd be more comfortable talking to an American one...
Muslims better go to Muslim doctors in medical fields such as psycology or Obgyn since sometimes doctors need to give you fatwa or advice about things in their fields like if a woman is pregnant whether she should fast or not. in psycology, doctors usualy can give you advice on how to cope with your problems or how to become in peace with yourself, family etc...so a Muslim doctor will have this in mind when they are treating you. I think for Muslims, respecting your father and mother and famillies is more stressed upon than in any other religion, so a Muslim doctor will not tell you such things as not talking to one of them, or severing your relationship with one to make you feel better, etc...
I am not saying that other religions will tell you to do such bad things. I am just illustrating my points with an example that might be extreme...
as for fasting, in Islam, there are situations that you might question whether yo should fast or not and since we are always asked to be careful, our religion sid to ask a Muslim doctor since they are allowed to tell you what to do in these situations.
regarding you being more comfortable with an American....American is not a religion, it is a nationality and you can find Americans who are muslims, unless you are able to filter what they will tell you in the sessions then go ahead and see a any doctors you want. I am just trying to help and tell you how to seek "safe" help.
I am not prejudice against american doctors as they treat me all the time, but in your situation (family, dad, etc...) as you mentioned, I would listen to me :-)
OK.. good point.
I think I am just worried that they will not be able to understand me...
But I think you are making a good point...
Thanks.
i think you should go to whomever you feel comfortable with, and in fact i think that you should find a good counselor irrespective of their religion. you don't want to feel judged by the religion you are trying to understand (if that's an issue or a component for you)
find the best one, the one you can talk to whose opinion you trust, and go with your gut. and always walk away from a therapist you don't feel comfortable.
Thanks. I will just try to find one I am comfortable with.
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